Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
4 words: hood of his car
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
