Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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