no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
