dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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