Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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