I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to sanitize my soul.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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