There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
