3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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