I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
