No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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