I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
