Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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