Already got asked if we're dating
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
