What tipped you off? The sombrero?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
