I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
