Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
