i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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