im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
