You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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