Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
