You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
