Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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