So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
