You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I look better un-naked...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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