I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
