So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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