Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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