She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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