i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
