my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
