Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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