I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
