so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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