Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
