so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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