The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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