Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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