He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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