That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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