some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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