...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
