non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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