I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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