Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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