About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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