do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
