Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
