We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
