nut hugger
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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