the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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