Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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