I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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