Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
