bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
