i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have demons in me.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.