well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
