i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?