not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.