I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
