so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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