Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize