You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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