you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
